How to Calm Toddler Tantrums Without Yelling, Bribing or Giving In



My toddler went from having multiple tantrums on a daily basis to being able to calm herself even when things didn't go her way.

Does this sound familiar...

Your child is going through the terrible-twos.

His temper tantrums could easily last 30-45 minutes.

He would hysterically cry over small things all day, every day.

Then it kept escalating until you started screaming right along him.

You don't know what to do.

When you lose it and explode, you feel like a bad mom.

You read parenting books, and try everything the experts tell you to do.

Still, nothing works.

The screaming and crying drive you crazy. You are at your wit's end.

It's exhausting and defeating.

You are not alone. I was exactly where you are.

When my daughter was going through the terrible-twos, I received a lot of advice from friends and family.

They told me to ignore and punish my kid until she understood that tantrums were unacceptable.

But from studying engineering at Stanford University, I know that a runaway car cannot stop on its own without a brake.

You wouldn't ignore a runaway car and hope it would stop itself... or punish the driver for not using the nonexistent brake, right? But that's exactly what ignoring or punishing would do.

Babies are not born with a complete emotional brake.

Ignoring or punishing would not create a proper braking circuit in them.

So I came up with a solution based on scientific research and it worked.

The reason why most parenting techniques don't work is because they work on the child's behavior on the outside, but neglect what's causing it on the inside.

It's like stopping a runaway car from the outside... by putting up a brick wall for it to crash into.

A much better way is to disengage the engine and build a working brake from the inside.

Imagine this...

When your child throws a tantrum, you help them calm down and develop their emotional brake.

Your child learn to soothe and regulate themselves during meltdowns.

You and your kid are both calmer and happier.

You love spending time together and enjoy each other’s company.

You are closer than ever before.

This is not just a dream...

With my method, I was finally able to stop the emotional runaway before it went rolling down the hill.

 In preschool, my daughter's teachers kept commenting how well behaved and delightful she was, and that she never had a tantrum there.

When she was in kindergarten, I even got a text from her teacher complimenting her emotional regulating skills.


Calm The Tantrums

A Step-by-Step Guide to Calming Toddler Tantrums

What's in this ebook:

  • The best way to calm toddler tantrums so you can stop the chaos which means you can confidently get through the terrible-twos 
  • How to teach your child emotion regulation skills so they can learn to calm themselves which means shorter and fewer tantrums 
  • Top 3 ways to prevent tantrums so you can cut down on meltdowns which means you can enjoy more peace at home 
  • How you can stay calm during tantrums so you don't explode which means you will be a good role model for your child



Your child can calm down during tantrums instead of escalating emotions.


Your child can regulate themselves when they don't get what they want.


Your child can bounce back from setback without crumbling.

what parents are saying

This book has helped me so much. My boy can now tell me how he feels instead of throwing fits and screaming. I can finally stop yelling and focus on helping him learn to control himself. Thanks a lot for the much needed help.

Elise M.

I love this book! I love the science based explanations and the strategies really work. I'm so happy I've stumbled upon this book.

Elisabeth K.

Full of insightful advice. I was so discouraged and thought I was a bad Mom. This book has changed my approach in parenting forever. Highly recommend to all parents.

Fiona C.


Mark Burhenne
DDS, Amazon #1 bestselling author of The 8-Hour Sleep Paradox

This is one of the best parenting books out there. Li's unique approach to handling toddler tantrums is simple, effective and backed by enormous amount of scientific proof. Her insights revolutionize the way we understand toddler behavior. A must-read for any parents and caregivers of young children.

Gerald Puk
PhD, Psychologist

Li offers a fresh new perspective on tantrums and gives parents the tools to turn terrible-two’s into valuable opportunities for a child to grow into a mature and resilient person. I highly recommend it.

Cynthia Kong
LMFT, LPCC, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor

This is a must-read book for parents of young children, or anyone likely to spend time around young children. Ms. Li does an excellent job of summarizing, in clear and accessible language, the extensive literature on the neurobiology and psychology of human emotional development. She gives many practical tips on effective ways to manage these commonly challenging situations.




I'm a mom, wife, bestselling author and the Editor-in-Chief of Parenting for Brain. I help parents restore happiness at home and kids reach their full potential using brain-science-based strategies.

This book is the result after poring over hundreds, if not thousands, of scientific studies when I was dealing with my daughter's terrible twos tantrums. It is a follow-on to my first bestseller, Turning Tantrums Into Triumphs.

Join the thousands of parents who have used this strategy successfully and discover how science can help you create a happy home.

Yours sincerely,
Pamela Li


B.Engineering Honors, McGill University
MS Electrical Engineering, Stanford University
MBA, Harvard University


Enjoy spending every minute together with your toddler

frequently asked questions

This ebook is for parents or caregivers of preschoolers or elementary school-aged children.

Absolutely. Although every child is different, the process of brain development is similar for everyone. My strategy focuses on helping children develop the regulating circuit in their brains so they can control and manage those big emotions.

We offer a 7-day refund policy.