Learn How to Calm Toddler Tantrums Without Yelling, Bribing or Giving In

My toddler went from having multiple tantrums on a daily basis to being a calm and delightful child.

But it wasn't always that way...

When my child was going through the terrible-twos, her temper tantrums could easily last 30-45 minutes.

She would hysterically cry over small things all day, every day.

Then it kept escalating until I started screaming right along her.

I felt like a bad mom.

I read parenting books. I tried getting down to her level, making eye contact and naming her emotions. When she wasn't throwing tantrums, I played emotional regulation games with her.

Still, nothing worked.

It drove me crazy. I was at my wits end.

It was exhausting and defeating.

I received a lot of different advice from friends and family.

They told me to ignore and punish my kid until she understood that tantrums were unacceptable.

But from studying engineering at Stanford University, I've learned that a runaway car cannot stop on its own without a brake.

You wouldn't ignore a runaway car and hope it will stop itself... or punish the driver for not using the nonexistent brake, right? But that's exactly what ignoring or punishing would do.

Babies are not born with the ability to regulate big emotions. A toddler in tantrum is a runaway car without an emotional brake.

Ignoring or punishing would not create a proper brake.

So I came up with a solution based on scientific research and it worked.

I was finally able to stop the emotional runaway before it went rolling down the hill.

When my child threw a tantrum, instead of feeling frustrated, I helped her calm down and develop her emotional brake.

She has learned to soothe and regulate herself during meltdowns.

We’re now both calmer and happier. We love spending time together and enjoy each other’s company.

My child and I are closer than ever before.

In preschool, the teachers kept commenting how well behaved and delightful she was, and that she never had a tantrum there.

When she was in kindergarten, I even got a text from her teacher complimenting her emotional regulating skills.

If you're struggling with toddler tantrums, I was exactly where you were.

I loved my child, but hated her tantrums.

I wanted to spend quality time with her, but the constant meltdowns made it so hard and so draining.

I felt that there must be something wrong with my parenting, or something off with her.

If you're feeling ANY of these, you're not alone.

There is nothing wrong with you, or your child!

All you need is the right information so you can help your kid develop their emotional brake properly.



Your child can calm down during tantrums instead of escalating emotions.


Your child can regulate themselves when they don't get what they want.


Your child can bounce back from setback without crumbling.


Calm The Tantrums

A Step-by-Step Guide to Calming Toddler Tantrums

What's in this ebook:

  • Top 3 ways to avoid toddler meltdowns
  • How you can stay calm even during epic tantrums
  • Best way to calm your toddler and handle hitting
  • Teach your kids self-regulation during tantrums

what parents are saying

This book has helped me so much. My boy can now tell me how he feels instead of throwing fits and screaming. I can finally stop yelling and focus on helping him learn to control himself. Thanks a lot for the much needed help.

Elise M.

I love this book! I love the science based explanations and the strategies really work. I'm so happy I've stumbled upon this book.

Elisabeth K.

Full of insightful advice. I was so discouraged and thought I was a bad Mom. This book has changed my approach in parenting forever. Highly recommend to all parents.

Fiona C.

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what EXPERTS are saying

Mark Burhenne
DDS, Amazon #1 bestselling author of The 8-Hour Sleep Paradox

This is one of the best parenting books out there. Li's unique approach to handling toddler tantrums is simple, effective and backed by enormous amount of scientific proof. Her insights revolutionize the way we understand toddler behavior. A must-read for any parents and caregivers of young children.

Gerald Puk
PhD, Psychologist

Li offers a fresh new perspective on tantrums and gives parents the tools to turn terrible-two’s into valuable opportunities for a child to grow into a mature and resilient person. I highly recommend it.

Cynthia Kong
LMFT, LPCC, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor

This is a must-read book for parents of young children, or anyone likely to spend time around young children. Ms. Li does an excellent job of summarizing, in clear and accessible language, the extensive literature on the neurobiology and psychology of human emotional development. She gives many practical tips on effective ways to manage these commonly challenging situations.




I'm a mom, wife, bestselling author and the Editor-in-Chief of Parenting for Brain. I help parents restore happiness at home and kids reach their full potential using brain-science-based strategies.

This book is the result after poring over hundreds, if not thousands, of scientific studies when I was dealing with my daughter's terrible twos tantrums. It is a follow-on to my first bestseller, Turning Tantrums Into Triumphs.

Join the thousands of parents who have used this strategy successfully and discover how science can help you create a happy home.

Yours sincerely,
Pamela Li


B.Engineering Honors, McGill University
MS Electrical Engineering, Stanford University
MBA, Harvard University


Enjoy spending every minute together with your toddler

frequently asked questions

This ebook is for parents or caregivers of preschoolers or elementary school-aged children.

Absolutely. Although every child is different, the process of brain development is similar for everyone. My strategy focuses on helping children develop the regulating circuit in their brains so they can control and manage those big emotions.

We offer a 7-day refund policy.